thinking hurts me a lot. i’ll be thinking about some midly deep subject and then suddenly my head goes “this is too complicated. everything it too complicated. kill yourself to make it all easier”
and so i stop and start thinking about simpler things or just watch some very dumb tv show to make the suicidal thoughts go away, but that means i rarely get to ponder on complicated things. im stuck with the simple things and just repeating what i’ve been told
sometimes i get anxious bc i fear that someone will ask me something like “what are your goals in life?” or “what do you like/dislike about yourself?” and i won’t be able to answer and i’ll just have to confess that i dont get to think of these things and that my brain is too fucked up to let me think like other people do
and i’ll just disapoint everyone who told me i was smart bc they’ll know i can only repeat like a parrot and i cant do anything by myself
Fuck JKR 