original idea from @captofthesswolfstar

i just want the french team @tarranzeiguane and @rikkachloechan to see this

and sorry it’s way shorter than i planned to… but i had so much fun writing it ( also i’m messing with you and won’t publish the translation of everything Sirius says before an hour or so… i want to see you trying to figure it out )

Sirius and Remus were walking hand in hand in the common room, making their way to the dorms for a cuddle session. The punk rock Gryffindor was staring at his lover’s ear, amazed by the way his curls fell around it. Not that all the other parts of his face weren’t absolutely stunning, of course, but tonight in the light of the candles his ear appeared exceptionally…

Too absorbed by his loving mental rambling, he didn’t notice they had reached the stairs and he gracefully tripped and fell on the ground.

“Merde” he swore. He got back on his feet, blushing, trying to pretend it was all meant to happen. He looked at Remus, expecting him to be laughing at him, but instead the young boy was looking at him in complete bewilderment, his mouth slightly open.

“Er, Moony ? You okay ?”

Remus frowned and asked : “What did you… what did you just said ?”

Sirius tried to play the scene again in his mind – blushing again at his own clumsiness – and to remember what exactly he had said. Then he realized, and everything made sense.

“Oh sorry ! That was a french word. Sometimes I just… Happen to use one without realizing.”

Remus face changed to something Sirius didn’t completely recognize, but was certain was very positive. “You speak french ?”

Sirius, seeing what he could do now, grinned. “Mais bien sûr, mon amour ! You didn’t think one could be from the Ancient and Noble house of the Blacks and not be fluent in french ?”

Remus stayed quiet and still for an entire minute, before to suddenly grab his boyfriend’s hand and drag him in the dorm. There, he locked the room and wrapped his arms against Sirius’s waist and whispered : “Say something else in french ?”

Sirius saw the lust and desire in Remus’s eyes and started to feel a bit of pressure on his shoulder – and changes in some other body parts as well. He hesitated, and said : “Um… On a un contrôle en Transfiguration demain ?”

He mentally slapped himself. Of all the things he could have said, he chose to talk about that ?? He was no stranger to dirty talk, but the added pressure of the other language was making him say the most random stuffs. But Remus seemed to be pleased with it as he slowly started to kiss his boyfriend’s neck, making his way to the shoulder. “More…”

“Um, yeah, um… “ But then he grabbed the whole potential of the situation, and grinned again. “Hier je t’ai volé ta brosse à dent parce que je savais pas où était la mienne.”

Remus moaned and started to move his right hand to the zipper of the shorter boy’s trouser, but stopped his motion just above it.

“Speak again.”

“Well… J’ai mangé ta dernière tablette de chocolat ce matin. Et j’ai accidentellement renversé de la sauce tomate sur ton lit, et j’ai du remplacer tous tes draps. Et une autre fois j’ai fait tomber un de tes livres dans le lac. Je l’ai nettoyé, mais l’odeur de boue est restée pendant un bon moment.”

Remus stared at him again, burning with desire. He slowly kissed his boyfriend, biting his lower lip, and whispered :

“Pads, that has to be the sexiest thing I have ever heard in my entire life.”