Étiquette : i overshare

so recently, this blog had started to give me anxiety bc i feel like i post less than usual…

and i know this is stupid because i literally posted a fanfic like less than a week ago? so its not like im absent or whatever

but anyway i know it’s mainly bc ive been getting involved in another fandom so im scared that this blog will somehow resent me… bc yes, pace, blogs are sentient beings, we all know that…

anyway i dont really know where im going with this? just… idk. my anxiety is telling me “you should always be posting or your followers will hate you” and at the same time “no one cares about what you post anyway, they hate seeing you on their dash” and its all very stupid… but i’m working on that.

so that’s just me oversharing stuffs, like i always do… this is a very messy post, i apologize.

so i guess i mainly wanted to say that if you actually like my blog, and you felt like i was posting less (which is not really true im really really trying to keep this in mind) then im sorry? and i am trying to post as much as i can, im really doing my best

urgh ive been keeping the url @peterwasamarauder for months bc i was counvinced that once i was less busy/depressed i would start a blog to promote peter-inclusive content…

and well it’s been months so its pretty clear i wont do it and i kinda want to delete it bc i need to only have three blogs at all times (for the fast reblog option)

but i also dont really want to admit that i wont do it??? anyway i suck

(after a tough class where our teacher asked boys and girls to work separated, in which i felt extremely uncomfortable)

tarran : i know how hard it must have been for you. it’s unfair that people want to shove you in a box. you are neither a girl nor a boy, you’re just… a wonderful kiwi. and of course it hurts when people want to put you in a box, because – well first of all because boxes are square and kiwis are more round, so you wouldnt even be able to put a kiwi in said box… sorry was i getting off track?

i kinda want to write something on the back of my jacket with my gold pen… but i have no idea why… and since this jacket is 75% of my personality, 80% of my aesthetic and 99% of my brand i dont want to ruin it by writing something i’ll regret…

( and yes, “an economy class loser with a nice jacket” is a very accurate description of me )

friend 1: when im feeling anxious, i love to listen to ASMR 🙂

friend 2: that’s great! i listen to quiet music, like sleeping at last. what about you pace?

me : … i usually listen to “ill make a man out of you” from Mulan…

friend 1: …

friend 2: …

friend 3: you know what, i get why. shang li just has his whole life together and will help you to fix yours