jk-destroyed-our-best-gay-ships:

oh my god i had such a fanfiction-type evening i swear to god

(expect for the fluffy ending part where i actually get the girl, oops)

okay so i went to the theater with some friends : AD, tarran and her friend who we will call Max

and as we were waiting in front of the theater i saw a girl??????? who was so pretty????? like i’m talking blond curly undercut and piercings there

and anyway i obv wanted to go and talk to her but way too much social anxiety

so follows this talk :

Max : “Why dont you just go and talk to her?”

Me : “And tell her what? I’m not good at talking. I’ll just stare at her until she marries me.”

AD : “Doesn’t sound very effective.”

Me : “Okay then I’ll throw her a rock so that she turns around, sees me and marries me”

Max : “Do you want me to go and talk to her for you?”

Me : “Maybe. Idk. What would you even say? We’re sticking with the rock method for now.”

cue to tarran who decides to use the one method who’s always effective in shows, fanfics and anime : tripping in front of her and spilling the content of her bag over the floor so The Girl stops and i can go and talk to her

tarran does so. the bag falls. none of its content spills. The Girl just walks away.

but then!!! we go and sit for the play! and turns out i am sitting right across from her and that i can see her very well. tarran does ridiculous hand gestures to attract her attention. she sees us. we make eye contact. i die. we keep making eye contacts occasionally during the play.

and then the play ends. max is tired of this shit and just walks to her and say we noticed her and she seems nice. i manage to talk to her, she is smart and cool and amazing. i summon every single ounce of courage in my body and ask for her number.

she tells me she’s flattered, but taken.

i die inside and spend half an hour ranting to my friends about how unfair my life is.