anxiety : you know you’ll never have a flat chest no matter how you bind, right?

me : really? really? im watching a horror movie, alone, at night, giving you so much material to work with and you decide to be about binding??? fuck you

i just dreamt that i needed to go to a friend’s birthday party except i was still in class, so i told my teacher i really needed to leave so i could go to my jewish cousin’s birthday. can’t remember why, but the jewish part counvinced her

in other news, im simultaneously planning my friend’s birthday and rereading my notes on the israel/palestine conflict and i think it shows

me : so many things can go potentially wrong

things : *dont go wrong*

me : wow can you believe i was concerned for literally nothing and just pretending to bring attention to myself like the pathetic idiot that i am?

in an effort to make my philosophy paper longer, i referred to heaven as “a post mortem religious reward” and now i just want this to be the title of a punk song

the paradox of being me : feeling anxious about not posting enough, then when getting an idea for a post immediately dissecting it to decide that it is actually garbage and will personally kill people

i just had the best afternoon and i need to rant about it

so it’s my friend’s birthday soon (her name is AD, i mentioned her already i think) and we decided she deserved a surprise

we met with her bf and our friend S and took her to an adorable japanese restaurant where we ate a LOT and tasted sake

then our fav teacher joined us bc yeah, we’re nerds who invited our teacher to a birthday party, bc she’s amazing

then we went out with just S and AD to a goth fashion store bc AD caught me staring at it. we didnt buy anything tho bc it’s expansive as fuck

then we went to three (3) bookshops to look at all the pretty books and gush over our fav authors

basically it was a super nerdy afternoon but it was sooo fun and nice, my friends are amazing and i hope it was as perfect as AD deserved

i just. i just had my last high school class. ever. it was the last time i was ever gonna listen to a lecture in high school. there wont be any of those anymore. im not realizing it yet. kid!me would see me as a grown up. sorry kid!me, you probably expected better. no high school class anymore. ever. im okay.

someone : *calls me by my chosen name*

me, already crying tears of joy : have i died and went to heaven

im currently walking around with one eye which has dark dramatic emo make up and one bare bc im too lazy to finish what i started

can someone please yell at me so that i can study