pic is blurry as fuck but i had to show off my dress

friend : i am so anxious about my first class tomorrow. what if everyone is taking notes on paper and i’m the only one with a laptop???

me : friend i swear no one will judge you

me, later that day : oh my god what if they ARE all using paper and i’m the only fool with a laptop

lush have a bath bomb that makes your bath black

all of my emo/goth dreams are fulfilled

jk-destroyed-our-best-gay-ships:

i know i’m not good with heels and i have this weird pseudo-feminist moral superiority thing of “haha yeah no i wear shoes that are actually comfortable thank you very much” going on but damn

i want to buy high heels.

where do i buy an impulse control

(turns out they’re super comfortable)

reasons why elliot is a massive fuck up #249

i was cooking and i needed to mix sugar and softened butter. now as i start mixing i realized the butter wasnt melted enough, but since it’s already well mixed to the sugar i dont want to take it off the bowl

so i immediately think “oh wait im so clever and crafty i have a solution”

and my stupid gay ass grabs my hairdryer thinking “the heat will will melt the butter 😄”

OBVIOUSLY it was a stupid idea bc as soon as i started heating it i didnt even have the time to see if it worked before the hairdryer sent the sugar flying off all over the kitchen

now my kitchen is dirty and my butter is still not melting. someone mercy kill me.

how i imagine my next therapy appointment with my new therapist will go :

me : *walking out with angry punk boots and an angry punk outfit* alright bitch i didnt say anything last session because my dad was here but guess what??? im fucking non binary and i dont use she/her pronouns and my name is ELLIOT not whatever you’ve got written down in your file! and if you dont like it then FUCK YOU!

me : *runs away crying cause i’m not brave enough to hear her answer*

i texted my friends’ group chat that i didnt have an oven anymore and that it made me sad bc i really wanted to bake

no one responded to the actual message but someone changed my gc name to “oven”

fuck everything

thinking hurts me a lot. i’ll be thinking about some midly deep subject and then suddenly my head goes “this is too complicated. everything it too complicated. kill yourself to make it all easier”

and so i stop and start thinking about simpler things or just watch some very dumb tv show to make the suicidal thoughts go away, but that means i rarely get to ponder on complicated things. im stuck with the simple things and just repeating what i’ve been told

sometimes i get anxious bc i fear that someone will ask me something like “what are your goals in life?” or “what do you like/dislike about yourself?” and i won’t be able to answer and i’ll just have to confess that i dont get to think of these things and that my brain is too fucked up to let me think like other people do

and i’ll just disapoint everyone who told me i was smart bc they’ll know i can only repeat like a parrot and i cant do anything by myself

i’ve been feeling pretty okay for the last few days and then of course my mood would drop suddenly for no reason. of fucking course.

im back from vacation! it was lonely and brain bullied me but it was actually very nice