Étiquette : aro

you know what ?

our society tends to value two things for adulthood that i, a 16 y/o, should want to get for my future.

it’s :
– a long term romantic relationship
and
– a good career.

EXCEPT THAT, BUDDY.
– i am aromantic.
and
– i’m like 97% sure i have ADHD and all thoughts of academics and career sends me in a loophole of dread and anxiousness.

so that is probably linked to why i fear the future so much. bc i wont have any of these and i have no idea what else i will ever get in life.

but in the end i realized that who the hell cares about career and romance when you can get friends. you can get a nicely decorated appartment. you can get a good bookshelf. you can get a great pub to drink at. you can get cool clothes. you can get a pet turtle.

these are less prestigious goals but who cares right. if they make you happy. these are the goals i really want in life and that would make me happy. that’s the future i want and to hell with c*reer and r*mance.

set your own goals, and fuck anyone who says they are insignificant.

about asexual!peter

i NEED to pour my heart into this because i have been thinking about it for a while now.

i am all for asexual representation in marauders’s fanfic. i have literally read every single wolfstar fic where one of them is ace. and THAT is the problem.

peter is always written as either Straight or Ace ( sometimes aro/ace ) and that is great ! give our community some representation ! i love it !

but here is the other thing.

as i said before, i have read every single fic where wolfstar is asexual. and that is because there are very rare. i can count them on one hand without running out of fingers. they are great and well written, but they are very very rare

which is surprising. but you know what strikes me ?

never ONCE have i seen peter described as attractive or beautiful. not ONCE.

on the contrary sirius and remus ( and james ) are always described as attractive. ALWAYS.

and i don’t know about you, but seeing the ugly guy always written as ace and the sexy guys always written as allosexual doesn’t fill my asexual heart with love and validity AT ALL.

sometimes i brush it off. sometimes i feel like the fandom is telling me that only people that are too ugly to be fucked can be asexual.

so what can you, fellow fanfic writer, do to bring actual asexual positivity in your fic ? well that is very easy !

first of all, i can’t force you to make james, sirius or remus asexual. but remember that they could be.

then, try to describe peter as beautiful or attractive. i knooooow, you hate him because of what he had done so he doesn’t deserve to be attractive. but consider it.

you can also try to include hints that remus, sirius and james could technically be ace/aro. sometimes just a small mention can count as good representation. for example : “i don’t feel ready to have sex with you.” “oh sorry, are you demisexual or something ?” “no, i am attracted to you, i’m just not ready.”

or for aromantism : “i don’t really date.” “you’re aro ?” “no, that’s not the reason.”

see ? easy !

i’m not saying every fic should include that. i’m not saying we should stop writing peter as ace/aro. i am merely saying we can do better.

( thanks for coming to my ted talk )