(im super angry at everyone and everything and i feel like starting discourse to have an excuse to angrily rant about something but also i dont want to upset anyone but dammit i am in a serial killer mood and i want to stab someone)

so i followed you people’s advices today

(first of all, im so genuinly thankful for everyone who took time to help!)

and i decided to test out elliot as a name. i figured the easiest way to hear it casually was to go and order something at starbucks under this name

now im on a tight budget this month, so i ordered the cheapest thing i could fine, namely a black americano coffee

and…

this is the cup! lovely and adorable! i love it, i loved hearing the name

but then as i walked back home with my starbucks coffee i remembered a small detail…

i really really really cant stand coffee. it tastes horrible and even the three spoonful of sugars i put it couldnt save it

so… i am now in possession of a cup of despicable coffee that i cant drink with a cool name on the cup… oh well…

Changing your name can be stressful. I started going by my middle name in college (which was over a decade ago) and at first it was weird. Try referring to yourself in the third person with a new name. Introduce yourself in the mirror. Say it with your last name out loud. You don’t have to jump straight in to letting other people know. Learn it yourself first. 😊

you’re so right. i was so caught up in how i was gonna tell people that i completely forgot to even pronounce it out loud.

i’ll do all of these things, thank you 🙂 just not right now cause im not alone

…should i go to Starbucks and order a drink with a new name? that sounds like a good plan (an expensive plan tho)

I saw you were concerned about how to go about getting your friends to call ya a different name, what I did is complained about how much I hated [birth name] & would prefer Sam until they did, and then once it was a known thing I stopped responding to [birth name] except to like teachers etc. I would tell them I prefer to be called Sam & when people called me [birth name] I started responding with “I am Sam; Sam I am” i dont know if this is helpful, but I hope it is!

oooh like slowly transitioning into it? might be a plan. im considering it

Oh do I feel the name thing. I rushed to find a name after coming out because school was starting, and I found one that fit well, but I realized a few months in that this V Irish Name did not flow AT ALL into my Clearly Hispanic Last Name and I’ve been fiddling with my middle name ever since to find a good transition point between them. Wouldn’t change my new first name for the world though, it’s perfect for me. I wish you the best & luck, it makes SUCH a difference going by the “right” name. :)

…. thank you :’)

oh shit i had not considered the whole “flowing with the last name” thing… urgh i have to reconsider my options again

i hope it can make a change, once i found the right one… because for now i feel like i dont have a name and it’s weird

and it would be cool to have a name ready for when i start college, which is… yikes only 4 months away!

I get that it is scary, I’m so socially awkward that there is one woman who works in the cafeteria where I volunteer who I befriended and I haven’t found the right way to tell her I’ve changed my name 😂 could you confide in one friend and ask them to help you tell others?

… i might try

but i just realized that i have been having the idea of changing my name for a long time

when i was 6 i asked my mum if i could name myself alice

and when i was 10 i was so in love with manon and nina that i told people they were my middle names… i did this for years…

and then i got attached to alice again when i was 15… i introduced myself as alice to people on tumblr..

not gonna lie, i had a “remus” phase

and now i have several in mind but wow so it really was there all of my life it’s not just a recent mood thing… i have been blind

You could test out a few names you like more with close friends and see how you feel? The older you get, the harder it will be to change your name

fair point!

for now i asked my friends to use nicknames more than my actual names, but idk how i would go around asking them to do this. idk im just a bit scared i guess

Hey, I changed my name to an English name when I was 16. There were so many reasons why I did, at first I loved that I changed my name because I felt like a different person and like it erased all the stuff that had happened. I’m 22 now and have just changed it back, because even though I didn’t like my birth name at first, changing it felt like I was running away. It might be different for you, but I thought I’d share my experience. Whatever you decide, I hope it makes you happy ☺️

thank you for sharing and i‘m glad you were brave enough to do those changes!

and im not exactly doing to run away from things… it just doesnt exactly fit me and my gender and just doesnt really feel like my name… but it probably wouldn’t be worth it anyway. i dont even have a specific name chosen, just a few on a mental list

idk how u feel abt this but I believe u should use a name u feel comfortable with bc people use it like all day There’s no problem if ure not comfortable with that name ~name anon

u right. but it’s not exactly that i’m uncomfortable with it… how do i put it

it’s like if everyone thought you liked, let’s say, jurassic park. i personally dont really care for jurassic park, but imagine if everyone suddenly thought you loved it. people occasionally refer to you as “that kid who likes jurassic park” and you just go “? okay i guess?” and it’s not that it upsets you to be known as the jurassic park kid, honestly you have bigger issues but still you just… dont really care for jurassic park. and then occasionally people will tag you in things jurassic park related and you’re like? i guess? i dont really care for this? but at other times people make jurassic park jokes with me and i genuinly laugh bc they’re just fun!

…i just made everything more confusing didn’t i? i’m sorry for a writer i really suck at metaphors