most writers, when creating a character : they’re very passionate, and have some anger management issues. they’re an individualist at heart due to their past

me : LISTEN this bitch will cut a bitch’s THROAT like it’s fucking nothing. here have a random song that remind me of them! they’re a MOTHERFUCKER and they WILL slap your face off if you dont treat them as the motherfucking individualist they are, okay? basically they need a goddamn therapist and that’s all the personality im writing before im diving into a long list of every mental issue they have BUCKLE UP HONEY

I hope you’ll find a way to be in touch with the community without triggering your depression/anxiety. I’m struggling with the same thing, but what I do is follow blogs I know are ace positive, without being focused on it, and I browse ace positivity tags only when I’m in a good place mentally, and I make myself stop looking at them when I notice it’s affecting me. It’s the best balance I have found so far, but it has the downside that I don’t feel like I’m part of the community…

that’s a good advice! honestly it’s a tough balance to get right, but remember : you’re the only one who gets to decide if you’re part of the community or not.

i need to say something

a year and a half ago, i was really invested in ace/aro discourse. i followed so many inclusionist blogs. i checked the tag almost everyday. i was always ready with my list of Facts™ to try and show exclusionists that we belonged.

it completely broke me. it worsened my anxiety, my depression, my poor self esteem. it made me aggressive and bitter in any debate, even the ones which werent related to ace/aro discourse. so i took a hard decision and cut it off. blocked the tag. unfollowed every blog that mentioned the discourse. blocked every person that made me even slightly uncomfortable. and for a while it really did help.

but now, im finding myself in a place where i struggle with my aroace identity, and where i wish i had a community to back me up. but by unfollowing all these blogs that mentioned the discourse, i cut myself off from most of the community. and it’s hard to find it again after all this time, even on a place like tumblr where tags should make it easy – guess who’s terrified of scrolling even the aro positivity tag for fear of finding more mentions of the discourse and spiralling again?

so im stuck in a place where im lonely and unable to reach out bc finding a community again takes a lot of time and a lot of energy that i simply dont have right now

i dont have a clear conclusion or anything. im just really, really pissed off that this stupid fruitless discourse who had never mattered anywhere but on tumblr’s fake “woke” circle cut me off from a community that i, as an aroace, need. so just… fuck that discourse.

((that said, if anyone has good aro/ace blogs to rec, preferably those who dont focus on the discourse, i will be grateful for suggestions))

exclusionists/aphobes dont interact. please dont put more discourse in the notes, this post is about the damage the discourse does, not about “whose side is right”

siriusblackfest:

Prompting Opens: August 1 | Prompting Closes: August 10
Claiming Opens:
August 13 | Submissions Due: October 20

Posting Begins: November
3 until we run out of submissions. One or two fic/art every day.

This year’s fest is non-anonymous. Claiming will
remain anonymous but not the posting. All traditional rules of the fests apply.
No flaming. No bullying. Don’t like, don’t read, don’t comment.

Rules & FAQ

Afficher davantage

im going back and forth about whether or not to join… i’ll sleep on it and see what i decide tomorrow i guess?