urgh ive been keeping the url @peterwasamarauder for months bc i was counvinced that once i was less busy/depressed i would start a blog to promote peter-inclusive content…
and well it’s been months so its pretty clear i wont do it and i kinda want to delete it bc i need to only have three blogs at all times (for the fast reblog option)
but i also dont really want to admit that i wont do it??? anyway i suck
(after a tough class where our teacher asked boys and girls to work separated, in which i felt extremely uncomfortable)
tarran : i know how hard it must have been for you. it’s unfair that people want to shove you in a box. you are neither a girl nor a boy, you’re just… a wonderful kiwi. and of course it hurts when people want to put you in a box, because – well first of all because boxes are square and kiwis are more round, so you wouldnt even be able to put a kiwi in said box… sorry was i getting off track?
yay for trying things out! honestly when i fully realized i was non binary i just took a friend shopping and told her on the way “oh btw we’re shopping in the male section cause i just found out im not a girl” and then it was a great opportunity to try things out with my gender so i would advise to talk to your more open minded, tolerant, trans-friendly friend(s) and just ask them if you could try something. if it makes you feel more at ease, emphasize on the fact that it’s just an experiment and that you have no certitudes. if you don’t have such a friend, you can ask people on tumblr instead! and of course you can still use your birth name with different pronouns. it’s not uncommon if you want, you can send me your name either by ask and dm or i can write a short paragraph where i would talk about you using they/them pronouns?
oh honey 😦 it’s completely normal to be sad and to not be able to get rid of your own feelings. feelings dont work like that, and honestly it’s probably for the best
well if she isn’t attracted to girls and you’re sure it wouldn’t lead to a romantic relationship, the only question behind “should i tell her” is “do i want to be honest with her, and am i ready to face possible conséquences if i am?”
i know when i thought i had a crush on one of my friend (hopeless too) i wanted to tell them because i didnt like keeping secrets from them. it was very awkward! but it didnt change anything in the end, except that i had one secret less. i didnt regret it.
but every situation is different, and there could be conséquences if you tell her. especially if she’s a girl, because she might feel less comfortable with intimacy? like, many sapphic girls say girls felt less comfortable hugging them after their coming out and things like that. but i dont know your friend, so i cant know it that’s something she would do or not.
there could also be no consequences at all, and that would obviously be ideal.
but you’re the one who decides what it worth more to you, telling her or protecting your friendship from possible consequences. you decide, and there is no “better” choice. just try and determine which option would make you feel better, and then do what you want
good luck, and remember there will be other crushes and relationships to come!
you can know what you are without having ever had a relationship! it’s actually pretty common place, a lot of people don’t like dating unless they are sure of what they are.
queer is a wonderful word that anyone who is lgbt+ can use! i personally love it because it says everything you need to know without having to go into the specifics. use it as much as you want and dont listen to the people who want to police your use of it!
well, from everything i have ever learned, a lot of people don’t actually define bisexuality as “being attracted to men and women”, but more often as “attracted to more than one gender”. it is completely possible to be attracted to every gender and to sill use bi instead of pan! remember, your labels are completely up to you. again, fuck the label police.
i hope this helps a little bit! so basically : call yourself what you want as long as you’re happy with it 🙂
oh honey 😦 it’s completely normal to be sad and to not be able to get rid of your own feelings. feelings dont work like that, and honestly it’s probably for the best
well if she isn’t attracted to girls and you’re sure it wouldn’t lead to a romantic relationship, the only question behind “should i tell her” is “do i want to be honest with her, and am i ready to face possible conséquences if i am?”
i know when i thought i had a crush on one of my friend (hopeless too) i wanted to tell them because i didnt like keeping secrets from them. it was very awkward! but it didnt change anything in the end, except that i had one secret less. i didnt regret it.
but every situation is different, and there could be conséquences if you tell her. especially if she’s a girl, because she might feel less comfortable with intimacy? like, many sapphic girls say girls felt less comfortable hugging them after their coming out and things like that. but i dont know your friend, so i cant know it that’s something she would do or not.
there could also be no consequences at all, and that would obviously be ideal.
but you’re the one who decides what it worth more to you, telling her or protecting your friendship from possible consequences. you decide, and there is no “better” choice. just try and determine which option would make you feel better, and then do what you want
good luck, and remember there will be other crushes and relationships to come!
first of all : you’re right, it is unfair of her not to listen to you! but maybe she has her reasons (like not feeling informed enough on the subject to help). i would try and ask her for her motives, and explain how it made you felt, and try to clear it up. if it turns out it really was for homophobic reasons, then you are allowed to get angry!
sometimes people dont like to label themselves as a lesbian because they have negative associations with the word. that’s the same for me. does calling yourself gay feel any better? the problem might be as simple as that
if not, it might obviously come from internalized biphobia/lesbophobia, where you don’t actually dare to call yourself something, but there might be other reasons
crushes on boys can come from coerced heterosexuality, where you force yourself to like boys, or interpret any positive feelings toward a boy as romantic attraction. does that sound familiar?
those are the first ideas that come to my mind, but of course im not all knowing, i can only provide my own insight. feel free to ask if you want to make some things clearer!
also, remind yourself that your labels are completely up to you, and if it doesn’t make you feel comfortable, you are under no obligations to anyone to use them
i dont know if anyone is interested, but i’m feeling both ready to help people and chatty, so if anyone has any ask about gender/sexuality, send me anything!
whether it is to test new pronouns out, to get tips, to satisfy your curiosity or just to get something of your chest, feel free to ask!
Fuck JKR 