“and then peter fucking BETRAYS us dude, he turns into a rat and cut off his own fucking finger” *worried peter noises*
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“and then remus-” “who’s now a hot teacher” “what?” “trust me it’s for the plot”
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“and then my son falls in love with this fierce redhead” “james wtf”
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“so i fall through the veil and, while everyone around scream in pain from the heartache, i die” “and then remus gets a wife and has a cool punk kid” “NO”