I don’t know if anyone would want a marauders Survivor au but I started to write one ages ago and tbh it’s one of my favorite things
The morning before the next challenge, the tribe has some downtime. Three tribe members sit around the fire watching Marlene and Dorcas walking together. Their shoulders brush and their expressions are gleeful as they disappear in the trees.
“Dude, they’re looking for the idol,” a tribe member says. “If we lose immunity, one of them has to go.”
The two others nod in agreement.
The camera cuts to Marlene sitting on the beach in a solo interview. “Yeah, we were kissing.”
“I came on Survivor so I can publicly say I hate my mother.” Sirius grins at the camera and waves. “Hi, mom! I’m gay and I hate you!”
Peter sits against a tree. “I hate all of them.”
Sirius tells his tribe members he’s going to collect coconuts. He walks into the woods and begins collecting wide sticks. The shot then cuts to him hiding something in a tree trunk’s hole. The camera zooms in on the object, showing it to be one of the sticks. It’s been shortened and has a face carved into it. The camera follows him hiding more sticks in other places while his voice from an interview plays.
“I’m making fake idols. I’m gonna hide them in different spots and hope someone finds them.”
The shot cuts to Sirius whittling a stick with a sharp rock. Looking up, he says, “I hope it’s Mulciber. He’s so [bleep] annoying.”
“Hey,” James says to Remus, “want to try out the new gear?”
He holds up the fishing line and bait they won for reward, grinning widely. Remus smiles and pushes himself off the ground.
“Sure.”
Remus pulls his shirt off and James whoops. As they walk to the beach, James says, “You can catch fish and show Crabbe what a true Hawaiian you are.”
James staggers from a rough shove by Remus.
The shot cuts to Remus during an interview. “Crabbe heard me tell James I’m half-Hawaiian. My family never had much money growing up, so I’ve only visited my cousins in Molokai a few times. Crabbe made a comment about how I must feel at home here because we’re on an island. He expects me to be great at climbing trees for coconuts and building shelters, etc. I’ve never even gone camping before.”
The shot cuts back to James and Remus in the water.
“Come on, James, dig into your warrior roots and get them fish,” Remus drawls.
James drops his line in favor of splashing a large handful of water in Remus’ face.
[After losing to James and Remus’ tribe in the challenge, prevented from scoring points by being locked in Remus’ arms as James ran ahead]
Sirius says to the camera, “I was aggressively hugged by the prettiest boy, so did I really lose?”
*agressively loves this*
Fuck JKR 