‘Queerness,’ to me, isn’t just about being L, G, B, or T. It’s about finding new models for relationships, for gender, for love, for life. I consider it more of a political word than a sexual one. It applies to my self-expression, it applies to my friendships, and it applies to my son’s new family. When my best female friends surprised me with a baby shower in a bar and gave me gifts that I could use after my son was born, that was queer. When they camped out in the hospital during my labor to welcome Leo to the world, that was queer. And when the same woman who went to kissing parties with me later held me while I sobbed after saying goodbye to my son, that, too, was queer.