Thank you so much for not shipping Remadora. I’ve never shipped it because there was something that made me uncomfortable about it but I didn’t know what(which says how normalized big age gaps are)and I always felt bad because everyone said it was because I ship Wolfstar and that I didn’t respect the true love between them. Which is not true, I think they cared deeply for one another but I just can’t see more than platonic love because when he was an adult, she was a baby. So thank you.

captofthesswolfstar:

lala-loony-lupin-deactivated201:

There are other reasons besides the age difference–mainly that I feel was wrong with the writing than specifically the characters.

However Remus was repeatedly emotionally manipulated by both Tonks and the Weasleys.  Whatever his reasons for not wanting to be with her, none of them were respected.  Even if he DID love her, him saying, “I don’t want to be with her,” should have been enough for everyone.  Instead he was badgered and guilted and coerced– which was later showed in his panic after she got pregnant and he tried to run away.

Happy people don’t run away from their pregnant partners.

And the idea of Tonks losing her powers because someone rejected her is offensive to her character as a whole.  Yes it can be heart-breaking but she was a strong, incredible person and making her entire character end up revolving round the love of a single person is offensive.

It also goes to show how young she is.  Because when you’re in your very early twenties, a break-up can feel like the end of the world.  When you’re in your mid to late thirties, other things tend to take priority.  All of this comes from life experience, of growing up and emotionally maturing.

Which then lends itself to the power-imbalance between Remus and Tonks.  If she was in her thirties and he was in his forties, there would not have been such a pronounced imbalance between them.  But she was just barely out of Hogwarts and he had not only lived thirteen more years than her (he was thirteen when she was born) but also he had gone through a lot more life than she had.  As it’s shown in the books, his acceptance or rejection of her literally controls her power and that is not a healthy portrayal of a relationship.

And I know it’s fiction, but it’s a damaging thing to put into a children’s book.  It tells children, this is how you should behave when you start a relationship.  This is true love.

And it isn’t.  Relationships like that should not be normalised.

Sorry for the novel but I could probably write a thesis on why Remadora was one of the worst things JK did to the series.  If she really wanted to make Remus straight (which being that his entire character is a metaphor for what was happening to the Gay community at the time seems ridiculous) she could have done something so much more appropriate.

THAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANK YOU